第18部分(第2/9 頁)

to　the　sofa。　For　years　she　had　lived

with　the　guilt　of　causing　Crystal's　death。

But　there　was　new　guilt　now。　Ross　had　fallen　in　love　with　her　and　she

had　allowed　it　to　happen。　Since　she　couldn't　marry　him；　he　would　be

hurt；　which　was　the　last　thing　she　wanted。　He　deserved　the　best；　the

finest。　He　deserved　a　wife　and　children　and　all　those　things　she　might

have　wanted　herself；　had　life　been　different。　Causing　him　pain　increased

her　own　pain　ten…fold。　Because；　when　all　was　said　and　done；　she　loved

him；　too。

That　was　the　deepest　layer　unearthed　in　her　soul…search。　She　did　love

Ross；　but　it　had　no　future。　There　would　always　be　yesterday　and　the

ghosts　she　lived　with。　Ross　had　stolen　her　heart；　but　only　a　part。　The

rest　had　either　died　with　Crystal；　or　died　a　little　more　each　time　she

saw　the　grief　on　her　parents'　faces。　Ross　deserved　a　wholehearted　woman。

She　wanted　that　for　him。

After　developing　a　throbbing　migraine；　Chloe　was　in　bed　by　eight；　and

there　was　pain　beyond　her　head。　Ross's　scent　clung　to　her　sheets；　the

remembered　feel　of　his　body　scared　her　skin。　She　burned　inside；　with　no

outlet。

In　time　she　fell　asleep。　After　two　nights　without；　it　was　deep　and

mercifully　uninterrupted。　She　woke　up　only　when　Lee　hollered　from　the

foot　of　the　stairs；　〃Chloe？　Rise　and　shine！〃

She　yawned；　stretched；　remembered　and　felt　pain；　then　r