第90部分(第5/8 頁)

t　my　husband；　nor　ever　will　be。　He　does　not　love　me：　I　do　not　love　him。　He　loves　（as　he　can　love；　and　that　is　not　as　you　love）　a　beautiful　young　lady　called　Rosamond。　He　wanted　to　marry　me　only　because　he　thought　I　should　make　a　suitable　missionary’s　wife；　which　she　would　not　have　done。　He　is　good　and　great；　but　severe；　and；　for　me；　cold　as　an　iceberg。　He　is　not　like　you；　sir：　I　am　not　happy　at　his　side；　nor　near　him；　nor　with　him。　He　has　no　indulgence　for　me—no　fondness。　He　sees　nothing　attractive　in　me；　not　even　youth—only　a　few　useful　mental　points。—Then　I　must　leave　you；　sir；　to　go　to　him？”

I　shuddered　involuntarily；　and　clung　instinctively　closer　to　my　blind　but　beloved　master。　He　smiled。

“What；　Jane！　Is　this　true？　Is　such　really　the　state　of　matters　between　you　and　Rivers？”

“Absolutely；　sir！　Oh；　you　need　not　be　jealous！　I　wanted　to　tease　you　a　little　to　make　you　less　sad：　I　thought　anger　would　be　better　than　grief。　But　if　you　wish　me　to　love　you；　could　you　but　see　how　much　I　do　love　you；　you　would　be　proud　and　content。　All　my　heart　is　yours；　sir：　it　belongs　to　you；　and　with　you　it　would　remain；　were　fate　to　exile　the　rest　of　me　from　your　presence　for　ever。”

Again；　as　he　kissed　me；　painful　thoughts　darkened　his　aspect。　“My　scared　vision！　My　crippled　strength！”　he　murmured　regretfully。

I　caressed；　in　order　to　soothe　him。　I　knew　of　what　he　was　thinking；　and　wanted　to　speak　for　him；　but　dared　not。　As　he　turned　aside　his　face　a　minute；　I　sa